Defeated Yet Still Happy

Days after my graduation on April, I was not sure of my next action. Without much thinking, I decided to apply for admission in a medical school. Since the application in MSU College of Medicine was long over, I had to look for other state university that was still open for application. I came across Western Visayas State University in La Paz, Iloilo. My only choice was state universities because aside the fact that the tuition is cheap, most of them are consistently performing well in board exam.

I had the papers prepared. Getting my official transcript of records is the toughest. In MSU where turtle-slow processing of documents is a common scenario, I had to visit the Registrar’s office for several days and begged for a faster release of my much needed credentials. I was so happy the moment I received my TOR, I was happier that time than when I got up on stage to receive my cum laude award during the graduation ceremony.

I submitted my application papers through a courier three days before the deadline. A friend assured me that once you completed all the requirements you automatically qualify for interview. For the second batch, there were 120 applicants and only 30 slots are available. So the competition is so stiff. Their questions were general questions. I assume all medical schools also ask those questions. The interview lasted less than an hour.

After a week, the result was out. Much to my astonishment, I did not survive and so as my friends. I wasn’t really devastated, but my father was. I thought it was the universe’s way of telling me that medicine is not really for me. I come up with a hypothesis why my application was declined. I feel like grade-wise, I have a competitive edge. I graduated cum laude with NMAT rating of 96, plus extracurricular activities to prove my versatility. I think, I answered their questions well without stuttering and less fillers. My experience in debate helped me through this part.

But they failed to realize my qualifications.

I think what contributed much to my defeat was my interview. I know by experience that in interview one can’t manage to hide his feelings much more his thoughts. And that’s where I messed up. I might have unconsciously manifested my weak desire to become a doctor while I was speaking to them. They might have seen in me that I was personally unprepared to embark that major step. That the motivation is not pure.

I hold no contempt. In fact, I am happier that it happened to me. While a normal person would feel sad and disappointed, I was more like glad and hopeful. Yes, this was a defeat. But I am glad that I wouldn’t be entering into something I wasn’t sure if I can perform best. I am also hopeful because my other options are still open.

This might be part of God’s perfect plan for me. I may not understand the reason behind, but it does give me positive feeling toward the thing I desire. Maybe, He’s telling me to pursue my dreams.  Ciao!