Values to Ponder

Early this week, I was thinking which e-mail would I receive - the one that would change the course of my miserable life or the one that would break my heart and leave me a permanent deep scar. For the past three months of my life, I had become still with no major life event to write in my FB status. I thought my first downfall this year was a disguise of something better than my original plan. The sole medical school I sought for admission denied my application despite my impressive qualifications. (HAHA! Super assuming lang! Pabayaan na oi, naglalabas ng sama ng loob kasi eh) But I had one more opportunity pending. I must tell you that waiting for the result is the most difficult part. It was a torturous experience that is aggravated by my no-job status. I would like to share my insight about this because I know some are in similar situations. I wish to cheer your spirit.

In those months, there were two forces battling for dominance inside me. The classic heart-brain battle. My heart tells me that I am brilliant, confident, and smart, that I can achieve whatever dream I have. But my brain says, "Okay, okay! You're brilliant, confident, and smart. But are these enough to make you win this gamble? Are you ready to suffer from your second downfall this year in case they decline you too just like what that medical school did to you?" I certainly do not know who's gonna win. Every time I feed up myself with positive thoughts, its negative counterpart would pop out from nowhere. Blame the working of subconscious. I never though ended up being succumbed by negative feelings in any of my waiting days. Some of my close friends in college know how positive I am. I was the Go-for-it-I-know-you-can-win-it guy.

I always thought that having negative feeling is entirely a personal choice and not a working of circumstances. From the book I read recently, we do not have control over the things that happen around us, but we do have control as to how we respond to what happens to us. Added to that is "We are free to choose our own actions based on our knowledge of correct principles, but we are not free to choose the consequences of those actions." Therefore, blaming other people of your bad feeling is entirely incorrect. It's your business! Suppose your enemy sent you an annoying message through FB. You have two options: Ignore the message and continue harboring positive vibes throughout the day or write something bad also and eventually live up with hatred and anger. The choice is always with us.

Going back to the waiting part, did I just say it was a torturous experience? I have to admit though that I did realize some things to ponder and I wish to share them here:

1. There are things worth waiting for. Don't rush. Learn the art of waiting. Recall Aesop's fable about a farmer and his goose that lays golden eggs.
2. There are times that the process is as important as the result. Skipping steps would not do better, it would just make the journey not so memorable.
3. Do not allow others to have control over your feelings and emotions. Neither allow them to impose their means or will to you.
4. Always believe in yourself. No one could convince how brilliant you are other than yourself. Stop becoming so dependent on the words of others. If they say "Oh, you're so smart!" then you start to think you really are smart indeed. But what if they say, "Oh, you're the dumbest person ever!" then if you depend so much on other people's remark, chances are after hearing this negative comment you'd feel bad. Being too dependent on the remarks of other people shows that you do not know yet the real you. Find yourself and start from there.
5. Don’t make somebody else's standard be your standard too. Ever heard of words uniqueness and individuality? And don’t define your existence based on someone else's existence.
6. Don’t seek your happiness and satisfaction from other people. Seek them from within, within yourself.

7. The key to live a happy life is determined by the way you see things. You can deliberately choose your perspective. If you feel like you're the uber unfortunate being in the whole universe just because you're jobless like me, then think of those who even do not have a cup of rice, who some of them starve to death. At least, you have something to eat. It's in the Hadith. For a believer not to hold contempt against God, he has to think of those who have less and stop making comparison to those who have more.

8. Know your goal and study how you could get there. It's okay to idolize other people but I advise you to create your own roadmap. What if the way they have chosen to achieve similar goal doesn’t suit yourself. There are important factors that are different from one another such as personality, intellectual and personal preparedness, level of motivation, available support system, financial resources, etc. If you can properly assess yourself in terms of these factors, you can create your own roadmap unique from others. If it's your roadmap and not just some other copycat from a popular mold, then you have greater chances of success.

9. Pray and do it intensely. ALLAH has control over everything. :)

Oh by the way, I did re

ceive the e-mail that would change my next three years. I feel like I have an unlimited access to blessings. ALHAMDULILLAH! :)