The Me Writes a Letter for Me

Dear Self,

Today is March 4 and it means you've been in Bursa for five months and one day already. I haven't heard anything from you so I am writing this letter to at least inform you that I am still alive. But let me ask you a single question: In that span of time, what have you accomplished so far?

I know that life is not easy especially in a foreign country whose people speak an alien language, eat cheese and bread for breakfast everyday, and a place where tea seems bottomless. You haven't exactly told me how are you as a foreign student, the struggles that you have fought or fighting if there were any, your firsts, your lasts, your latest dramas in life and the battle within you. 

I know you're strong, you were raised that way. You are determined and focused. You value time more than anyone I have known. You are responsible without being awkwardly weird. I know that when you have an objective, you are willing to exert the effort to reach where you would like to be. Remember how you survived university without skipping other opportunities which you deemed would help you in your quest to become a better person.  You were good you know. You WERE. What happened then?

In five months, what have you accomplished? I know how you feel right now. Remember this is the other you writing a letter for you. I am you and you are me. I know what it feels like to being stuck in a particular level, I played those stupid computer games in the past. The frustration when you feel like you'll never be able to move on to the next level. But you know what, computer games after all teach a lesson to its players. That is, being stuck in temporary. The player has to click the "Play Again" button, learn from the previous one, and devise a tool to survive. And that is exactly what you should do.

Scrap the idea that you lack the ability to do anything sensible. For clarity, everyone has an endowed talent and skills, a personal gift from the Almighty. Find yours and work on it. Don't be discouraged if at first initial attempts, you fail to succeed. Remember, the road to success isn't a smooth one. It's rough, thorny, with many monsters that ready to devour you and skin you alive. Be brave. Don't just turn back. Fight and move!

How's your Turkish? In five months, I expect that you are now able to express most of your ideas in mind in clear, grammatically correct, and spontaneous Turkish. But I see that you're still the old you like as if you just arrived in Bursa last week. You're learning so slow and I know why. Because you haven't been serious. Where is the old you? Was he left in the Philippines wandering around the 7,107 islands? Where is the old you who is determined and who doesn't refuse to learn? Go and bring him back. You need him at the most critical time. Right now!

You talk to yourself while you're in the minibus to TOMER. Don't deny it. I know few things about you. Why do you often ask yourself whether you did the right decision? Of course, you did choose the right one. You asked for it from the Best Planer of all things and He granted it. Then this must be the best for you. Trust. Faith. Living in what-ifs won't mend anything, it will just throw you to the pit of sorrow. 

I know that you're confused as to what future do you have here. But have you realized that everything isn't really a waste of time. Would you call meeting new people and learning from them a waste of time? You've met several kinds of people with different citizenship who have an opposite view of everything. If you're learning, then time has never been wasted.

I have heard that you're helping a friend prepare for her upcoming IELTS exam and that you are teaching your Turk friend English. At least, you're doing other stuffs now. I know how your mind work. You are not satisfied doing one stuff only, you're the type who wants to do several stuffs at a time. Don't push yourself that hard, you'll be able to find something you can pour all that energy later. Just stay cool. :)

Ok, I must go now. See yah! Kendine iyi bak. :)

Yours,

Your Other Self